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Bake Sales Are My Bitch.

Bake Sales Are My Bitch.

Not often do you come across a family book with the word bitch in the title, so we knew this was going to be special. 

Bake Sales Are My Bitch is written by April Peveteaux who also penned Gluten Is My Bitch and is known for her no-bullshit humor. This book is an interesting format that's part memoir/life advice, part reference guide, and part cookbook. Among my favorite chapters are, Ch. 2: What Evil Lurks In the Lunchboxes of Kindergarteners, and Ch. 9: Have Epi Pen,Will Travel (I wrote a post by the same name a while back - great minds think alike!). 

This book is a handy guide for any person with food allergies or parent of a person with food allergies. Hell, your friends and family should also pick up a copy so they can learn how to be allergy-friendly too! April provides useful and basic references like the food products she commonly buys, blogs you should follow (I'm sure she'll include us in her next book), and what to say to parents who confront you with stupid allergy questions or remarks. This last one is actually a huge problem and I'll be the happiest girl alive if no one ever tells me they feel sorry for me because I can't have ice cream ever again. When my book was published I hoped that everyone I knew would read the FAQ section about how to deal with allergies but apparently they were distracted by the pictures instead. 

This book will literally tell you everything you need to know. Books to buy, restaurants to eat at, brands to know, magazines to read, what each allergy and dietary restriction means, and where to vacation. It was so interesting for me to read the part about dining out and which restaurants had safe options because parents are so much more in the know these days (you know, with the internet and all). When I was a kid, back in the 90's, we'd just explain my allergies to the server and hope for the best. This was most successful at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, when I was 6. On the first day the staff where we were having brunch not only gave me an entire tray of bagels and fruit but had it served to me by a topless Aladdin. Life was good. 

So, on with the baking! We chose to make Monster Cookies from page 180. We adjusted the recipe to be free from dairy, nuts, peanuts, and it was already gluten-free. Our special guest, the bearded baker, James, began by measuring out the sugars and shortening which we used instead of butter. 

James is a beginner baker but found the book easy to follow. We'd suggest propping it up on a book stand since it is a lightweight novel format that is liable to flip closed if laid flat on the counter. This format is ideal for carrying around with you for quick reference. 

Once the butter and sugar were creamed James added 3 large eggs and mixed well.

Next he added vanilla, Sunbutter (a favorite at EAF) and a ton of oats. The recipe called for corn syrup but I didn't have any on hand. 

We left out the M&M's but James added more than enough Enjoy Life chocolate chips to make up for it. 

"Aaaand we'll just add the whole bag" 

"Aaaand we'll just add the whole bag" 

The recipe says it makes 4 dozen cookies but we actually got about 60+ out of it. The perfect amount for a school bake sale or in my case, to bring to the office. 

The cookies were delicious, nutty, soft, and gooey. And such a nice hit of protein which made them perfect to snack on during the day. Screw bake sales, I'm making these again for desk snacks. 

Bake Sales Are My Bitch is available April 2017 but you can pre-order your copy now here and pick up a copy of Gluten Is My Bitch in the meantime.

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